Costly Communication Mistakes

Are You Making These Costly Communication Mistakes? – Mary Miscisin

In an ideal world, we would all understand each other and accept everyone’s unique approach to life – recognizing the positive intent behind behaviors. But let’s face it – when it comes to communication, we all get triggered by something. Of course it is not so much what they said as… well you guessed it… how they said it. This report contains information about the five most costly communication mistakes that each personality style makes… AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT FOR EACH STYLE.

These mistakes can cost you major time, energy and money. If you fail to recognize and adjust these habits, you can jeopardize your job, your relationships, and your reputation. Continuing to communicate in this manner in the wrong situation puts a strain on teamwork, cooperation and problem-solving.

Having said all of that, these habits are actually not “bad” (in and of themselves) and can be highly effective when used in appropriate situations – with others that appreciate this way of communicating.

The trouble begins when we use them all the time without paying attention to how they are affecting others. If you know you are going to be communicating with an individual whose style is different from yours – or wondering “what the heck went wrong?”, this report pulls the veil from the habits even your best friend won’t mention to you.

As you read through this report, notice how it applies to you and the way you communicate. (Helpful hint: just because you happen to have traits from a certain style, does not mean YOUR mistakes are common for that style) You may have developed a communication pattern that is more frequently associated with a different style. Listen closely to the tips for overcoming any unproductive habits you may recognize in yourself. Carefully consider the consequences of not changing – refusing to evolve and grow, staying stuck in your patterns. And weigh the benefits of choosing to access a greater range of more resourceful, productive behavior that affords you higher quality communication and positive responses from others.

Connector Personality Style

Generally kind and considerate in communication, this style likes to warm up to the topic instead of plunging to the point. They prefer to connect personally and check in with their emotional compass to assess how they feel about the topic, the goal of the conversation… and you! Often, feelings are the focus and they speak from the heart. They care about how they come across and want to make sure they are grasping the full message you are sending. They are also hoping you will pick up on the nuances they are communicating.

Connector Personality Style’s 5 Most Common Communication Mistakes

(When communicating with other styles.)

  • Beating around the bush
  • Over apologizing
  • Taking things personally
  • Mistaking intensity for anger or hostility
  • Using emotional appeals

Planner Personality Style

Chronological and specific in communication, this style likes to get to the point by describing the step-by-step details necessary for you to make a decision, follow an instruction, or complete a task. They often mention procedures, rules and what has been done in the past. They are concerned with status, hierarchy and the chain of command. Planners pepper their conversations with “should”, “must” and “have to” as well as “right” and “wrong”. They seek confirmation and closure – a firm “yes” or “no” so they can make plans accordingly. Planners also like to finish one topic before moving to another and although they do not like to be interrupted, they may interrupt you to bring you back on target if they feel you are straying from the topic.

Planner Personality Style’s 5 Most Common Communication Mistakes

(When communicating with other styles.)

  • Close-minded to change
  • Finger wagging
  • Check it off blinders
  • Stuck on specifics
  • Martyrdom and complaining (no one else does it “right”)

Thinker Personality Style

Unless purposely strategized ahead of time for maximum return on their verbal effort, Thinkers like to skip the small talk and go straight for the information. They can seem like investigative journalists in pursuit of the facts: who, what, where, when, how… and the biggie – WHY? Intrigued by innovation and probability they like “think time” to ponder before responding to questions. Avid problem-solvers, Thinkers rely on logic over sympathy, head over heart and evidence over empathy. When interacting with others, Thinkers want you to maintain your composure, offer objective feedback, and consider the big picture.

Thinker Personality Style’s 5 Most Common Communication Mistakes

(When communicating with other styles.)

  • Pointing out mistakes first
  • Data dumping
  • Data diving – Humor at others’ expense
  • Unreasonable expectations
  • Living in your head

Mover Personality Style

This style likes to “tell it like it is” or even better! Spontaneous in nature, they have a tendency to skip from subject to subject unless trying to bring home a point. In that case, they like to get right to it (the point), no holds barred. Their communication style can range from casual to forceful in intensity, depending upon the situation at hand. Not ones to be pinned down to a plan, they like to keep options open and may converse while multi-tasking. Oranges speak from the gut and can be very physical in their interactions, hitting a “high five, punching, or pushing (“get outta here!”) for extra emphasis.

Mover Personality Style’s 5 Most Common Communication Mistakes

(When communicating with other styles.)

  • Interrupting
  • Ready, FIRE, Aim
  • Bulldozing Intensity
  • Self Centered
  • Multitasking

WARNING: In this bratty, sassy, and uniquely bold article by Mary Miscisin she “tells it like it is” with no holds barred. Not for the faint of heart – read at your own risk! This report contains information about the 5 most costly communication mistakes that each Personality Style makes. If you fail to recognize and adjust these bad habits, you can jeopardize your job, your relationships, and your reputation. Why risk it? Discover these tips today!


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First published in 2001 with several editions and translations throughout the years, Mary Miscisin’s classic personality book Showing Our True Colors has been revised to Personality Lingo

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